This morning, much to my surprise, I slept in late. I slept 13-hours, and it was the best decision. I have had a hard week, and I need to prioritize my physical health over the weekend. I started my day with some meditation and stretching. All the activity with swimming yesterday made my leg muscles tense today, but it was a welcomed discomfort. It meant I was getting active again, which I desperately needed.
Lockdown was very isolating and constraining on me physically. I need to turn my mentality about mobility around and get my body to a place I can function without pain. For many people, this may sound like an easy thing to do. With all the injuries and ailments I have had over the years, getting it always carried an emotional weight harder to shed than the pounds.
I followed my physical activity with a few hours of writing and then promptly laid on the couch to zone out while watching a TV series. It’s nice to have a day where there is nothing you are required to do, even if you plan things to do during the day. It’s easier to feel like you are the master of your destiny when no one asks for a deliverable.
The topic on my mind today is the requirement to do or be something because of your position either in a family or the workplace. We fill roles created by others. In the workplace, we often choose to take on those roles and associated obligations to earn a living. With family, our obligations are something we are born into, with little to no option to sidestep them if we want to remain in the family, or sometimes it feels that way.
The phrase “this isn’t what I signed up for” comes to mind, but when thinking back on the cases I said it, I realize that much of what burdens me is, in fact, something I signed up for and agreed to. I may not have thought it through well at the time of taking it on, but I knew that ahead of time. To lie to myself after the fact won’t help me progress on my journey.