My Journey

In Between Achoo and Expectations

I’m feeling a bit better today, so I don’t think I have coronavirus. Sometimes you just need the rest, and it’s that simple. This morning I have a little more energy than the day before, so hopefully, I can make up for the lost time.

It’s been challenging to focus on work and complete tasks at my usual pace. I think in part because of the heat, and partly because I need a long lazy weekend of napping and watching tv. We don’t have internet or cable at our apartment, so I can’t stream videos very well on my hotspot. Usually, I use movies or TV shows to turn my mind off in the evenings or on the weekends, without them, it is difficult to turn off thinking about work. 

I wonder what people did years ago to decompress, though they may not have needed to as much with the pace at work being less stressful than it is today. I guess it makes sense why people would knit, crochet, or sew because it can help you focus your mind on something and still be productive. Meditation has helped me a lot over the past few months. Trying to focus my mind, still it and be in the moment, has been very rewarding.

I downloaded some “Ohm” music from Spotify because I heard the tones used can help with meditation. While I have enjoyed it immensely, I find that classical music and other liturgical recordings of cantors have helped me find my center. Sometimes when we start a new activity, it becomes performative. When I started doing meditation and yoga in the mornings, I did everything I should do. I had the yoga mat, the yoga clothing, even the right music to do yoga to, but all those tangible items aren’t what yoga is really about. They are just part of the commercialized industry built around yoga, and I have somehow bought into all that they have sold me on.

It’s good to come to that realization and actively start making steps towards separating what I know to be accurate and what I choose to accept as truth. I realize I have more of a choice on the day to day to change my life, and possibly in ways I have yet to realize.