My dreams bring me clarity, they always have told me my true desires and wants from life. Yesterday, I pondered a life where I had few possessions, thinking through all the things I had accumulated and deciding if I wanted them in my life or not. I packed a few boxes of essentials that I “couldn’t live without” which felt like a solid decision. I went to bed early, and when my body said it was tired. It felt like I had made progress in the new year already and I was happy with the progress I made. I had a travel dream much to my surprise, where a few familiar friends joined me from my past. It was fantastic to see them again, even if it was only a dream. Much to my surprise, I woke up out of the dream at a happy point, something I don’t normally do. I spent some time surfing posts, chatting with friends about where I would rather be than lockdown, and thinking more about the future I want. I woke up early, resolute that I would need to move on from you, mentally, physically, and spiritually. As my decisions played in my head, seemingly backed by my subconscious, it happened.

I was dreaming again, I picked it up where I left off but I was on a liveaboard with all my friends and acquaintances around me. We went ashore one day and were taken to an amusement park. I walked up to the top of a water slide tower and jumped down the tallest one. All of a sudden I felt it. You were there and in the slide next to me. There was an energy shift for a minute and then it was gone. It felt so real, could I be going crazy? Was my connection to you still intact?

When I reached the bottom, I rose from the water looking back, but you were no where to be seen. No one left the tube next to me. I lowered my head, sad that my mind was playing tricks on me. Why did you appear in my mind at this point if it wasn’t real? There was nothing to remind me of you. Something was clearly wrong. 

As I walked out of the pool, a lifeguard jumped in and went up the slide in a rush, and then another with a stretcher. I began to panic as I tried to get to the exit point near that slide. As I made it to the gate, I saw you, laid out on the stretcher with a bandage on your leg, curled up in pain. I began to tear up. You looked up and smiled at me through the pain and handed me your watch to hold as they began to lift you from the ground. I took the watch and said I wasn’t going to leave you and followed the medics as they took you to the ambulance. 

As we exited, all my friends were there waiting for me in a huddle to continue our water park adventure. As I ran by them following the stretcher,  I told them I would call to let them know my status but that I couldn’t leave you. They waived without hesitation, supporting my decision. In my mind I thought through everything I had onboard and if I needed anything from the boat. Clarity came to me. There was nothing I needed but the clothes and items on my person. I began to cry in my dream and as I woke up I found myself with tears eyes in real life.

My dream was so clear visually and mentally. It felt like a simulated test of my reality. I could see your face and features without haze or adjustments. I chose you from the adventure I was on, and without hesitation. You accepted me in your life and gave me time. I can only hope this is a foreshadowing of what is to come, as even with the tears I woke to, the thought of it made me truly happy and warmed me.